Conrad's Laws
Conrad's Law #1
The amount of useful work accomplished at a business meeting is inversely porportional to the number of people present, and inversely proportional to the square of their rank in the organization
As evidence, consider the Board of Directors meeting: a large number of the highest ranking individuals, it always accomplishes nothing.
Conrad's Law #2
If a project is late, a year after the cutover nobody will remember it was late.
If a project cuts over with bugs, a year after the cutover nobody will have forgotten the bugs
The worst case is when a project is late and has bugs. In that case, nobody will ever forget either the lateness or the bugs.
Conrad's Law #3
The only way to guarantee that a project will deliver on time is to stop testing.
'Nuff said.
Conrad's Law #4
95% of all business decisions are "no brainers."
This is good, because 95% of all business decsion makers are the same.
Conrad's Law #5
Beware of people who say they want to be "fair". They invariably want to be "fair" to themselves at your expense.
Fairness is devoutly to be wished. However, often what is identified as fairness is really only unfairness with different faces.
Conrad's Law #6
There is no "Management Tool" in the world that will allow you to complete a 12-month project in six. But any management tool can make you take a year to complete a six-month project.
Conrad's Law #7
Never buy anything over the objections of the person selling it
If the seller says, "You don't need this widget, you need that whozit," either buy the whozit from them or the widget from someplace else, but don't buy the widget from them.
Conrad's Law #8
Never leave your coat on a public coat rack if it's going to be the most expensive one there.
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