| In this part I am going to tell you how to use some common
annoying HTML mistakes to make your web page just as annoying like the others! I'll also
try to update this page every time I see another annoyance, so you may want to remember
this page.
Guestbooks: These are a common annoyance.
Nobody really cares who was at your site and only people who are annoying write an entry
into them. And because you want these people to be as annoying as your web site, make sure
you have one.
Pop-up Windows: This annoyance is the best
way for the reader to see an advertisement. They always read them and never close them
before anything is downloaded. Another benefit of these is how they speed up the browser.
See my page dedicated to it.
Front Doors: Front Doors are those
annoying, pointless thing on the beginning of a web page that slow you down. They are
characterized by an ugly graphic that says "Click me to Enter!" These aren't so
high on the annoyance scale, but they are still annoying.
Under Construction: I know, nobody cares if
your annoying page is not finished being annoying, but put up the ugly under construction
signs so when they come back to your site to be annoyed again, they will see the changes
you made, or lack thereof.
Browser Upgrades: Thank god for these! For
several years I was using my non-JavaScript enhanced Mosaic version .000448 beta 1. If I
didn't see that up-to-date "Click here to upgrade to Netscape 2.0" annoyingly
animated icon then who knows where I'd be now.
Browser Specific Pages:
OK, this is a red flag for Annoying Web Pages. For some reason you think that one of the
two hits your site gets a month will not have an up-to-date browser then YOU are annoying.
That is why I always make three versions of my web pages: one in regular HTML, another in
tag-less ASCII text, and the last in Morse Code for those really old browsers. Oh,
an if you do plan on making three versions as I always do, then make sure you only update
one, such as the Morse Code version.
Please see the dedicated Browser Specific page.
Reporting Site Updates: Yeah, this is
annoying. But thank god I knew that your content-less site was Last Updated March
5, 1995 or else I might not have waited for the 147K photo of your cat to download.
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