7

  KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:  To get to the other side.

  PLATO:  For the greater good.

  ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

  KARL MARX:  It was a historical inevitability.

  TIMOTHY LEARY:  Because that's the only trip the establishment would
  let it take.

  SADDAM HUSSEIN:  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
  justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

  JACK NICHOLSON:  'cause it f___ing wanted to. That's the f___ing
  reason.

  RONALD REAGAN:  I forget.

  CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

  HIPPOCRATES:  Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

  ANDERSEN CONSULTANT (Boman, foppa):  
 					Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road
  was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced
  with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies
  required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a
  partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
  rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
  processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped
  the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and
  experiences to align the chicken's people,
  processes and technology in support of its overall
  strategy within a Program Management framework.  Andersen Consulting
  convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens
  along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
  industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to
  leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit,
  and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve
  the implicit goals of delivering, and successfully architecting and
  implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
  of poultry cross-median processes.  The meeting was  held in a
  park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment
  which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
  consistent, clear, and unified market message, and aligned with the
  chicken's mission, vision, and core values.  This was conducive
  towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
  Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change, to become more
  successful.

  LOUIS FARRAKHAN:  The road, you see, represents the black man. The
  chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
  down.

  MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:  I envision a world where all chickens will
  be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into
  question.

  MOSES:  And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
  chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."  And the chicken crossed the
  road, and there was much rejoicing.

  FOX MULDER:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
  more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

  RICHARD M. NIXON:  The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
  chicken did NOT cross the road.

  MACHIAVELLI:  The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
  cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
  there was.

  JERRY SEINFELD:  Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't
  anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking
  around all over the place, anyway?"

  SIGMUND FREUD:  The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
  crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

  BILL GATES:  I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
  will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
  important documents, and balance your checkbook.

  BILL CLINTON:  I'm going to say something important. And I'll say it
  again to make sure you understand.  I did not have sexual
  relations with that chicken.  I did not.

  OLIVER STONE:  The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
  road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
  whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

  DARWIN:  Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
  selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
  roads.

  EINSTEIN:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
  beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

  BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

  RALPH WALDO EMERSON:  The chicken did not cross the road .. it
  transcended it.

  ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die.  In the rain.

  COLONEL SANDERS:  I missed one?

8

IN PRISON: you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell

AT WORK: you spend the majority of your time in a 6x8 cubicle

IN PRISON: you get three meals a day

AT WORK: you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it

IN PRISON: a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you

AT WORK: you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself

IN PRISON: you can watch TV and play games

AT WORK: you get fired for watching TV and playing games

IN PRISON: you get your own toilet

AT WORK: you have to share

IN PRISON: they allow your family and friends to visit

AT WORK: you cannot even speak to your family and friends

IN PRISON: all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required

AT WORK: you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners

IN PRISON: you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out

AT WORK: you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

IN PRISON: there are wardens who are often sadistic

AT WORK: they are called... managers.

Return Jokes 2
E-mail
Polonijki